There are no ex-carpenters our title is earned what’s earned forever shirt

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Printed to order and shipped from the USA

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5–10 business days within the US, 7–15 business days internationally.

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I wore a ‘l love Berlin’ t-shirt to a Battle of Britain war museum. Spent most of it with my arms crossed out of embarrassment. Not me but in NL custard looks like milk cartons (or it did in the There are no ex-carpenters our title is earned what’s earned forever shirt besides I will buy this 90s) and my mum poured custard on to her breakfast ceral Smiling at strangers in Iceland is up there, but I think the worst was not fully understanding the tipping culture in the US. It’s been 15 years and I still do a full-body cringe when I think about all the friendly, helpful people I met … who I later realised had just been hoping for a tip, and didn’t get one because it never crossed my mind. Dude in army camo & AK47 shows up starts talking insistently in Portuguese. Don’t understand a word but the meaning is clear – come with me & no you don’t have a choice.

There are no ex-carpenters our title is earned what’s earned forever shirt, hoodie, tank top, sweater and long sleeve t-shirt

Turns out photographing government buildings is illegal in Mozambique. One of the There are no ex-carpenters our title is earned what’s earned forever shirt besides I will buy this buildings on said random ass road happened to be a police station. I was visiting friends in Germany, and we went to Heidelberg Zoo on of my days out there. Narrowly averted disaster at the Elephant enclosure. There was something about the spectacle that reached into my inner child and prompted me to make Elephant noises and wave my arm around like a trunk. As my arm straightened out and rose through the air, I snatched it back with such a whiplash that would impress Richard Hammond, as I realised I was millimetres away from a full Nazi Salute. Nope, nope nope nope nope nope. Went into a shop in Havana, and I was followed in by a beggar. Just to get rid of her, I gave her a coin. The woman serving in the shop said “It takes me all day to earn that”. I was suitably mortified. Asking a Serbian police officer for a lighter (upaljac – “oopay-atch”) whilst extending my hand and making the “universal lighter gesture”, easily mistaken for a twitching half-cocked thumbs up. Fortunately he laughed and gave me a lighter after I realised my error, rapidly sobered up and explained my mistake (in English). But his hand never left the butt of his gun, even when he was laughing. I was in a cafe in Sicily and wanted a gelato. Had been learning some basic Italian but got pesca pesce mixed up.

1. Length is measured from the highest point on the collar down to the bottom hem. 2. Width is measured across the body of the shirt under the armpits, one way. 3. Sleeves are measured from center back to hem.