Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt

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With cameras yes. And combined with AI tech out there, they are becoming more and more able to alert on it in real time. All this tech, effort and carbon emissions thrown at a problem that could be solved more simply by just… employing checkout staff Ever been to one of those Amazon stores? Their cameras are so accurate you don’t have to scan any items, just pick them up and stick em in your basket. To be fair when someone says that it does cast a bit of doubt if you actually didn’t want to do the Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this right thing. It’s one of those psychological things, like those who are inclined to shoplift have that doubt put in their mind when seeing things like this. What you see here is a compromise after months of negotiations in corporate HQ between “we have to surveil the self scan” “we have to be nice to customers and give them fuzzy feelings” and “legally, we have to clearly mark when there’s video surveillance”… They are losing loads of money from people stealing stuff at the self scans, but really don’t want to go back to fully staffed checkouts so the screens showing you on camera and these signs are a last ditch attempt to lower shoplifting without having to have a lot more staff on the floor. A surprisingly large amount of retail theft is not organised gangs or junkies, it’s Dave & Diana not scanning the wine or weighing their meat as carrots.

Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt: Unleash Your Dinosaur Style

Opportunist theft is huge on self-service tills so a little reminder that the Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this area is monitored and checked can cut down a lot of shrinkage I don’t regret my crime but I will now have to avoid the store in question for eternity. I’ve even had to look away when I see a Police car approach. That’s a minimal loss, the problem is people doing it to high value items, my local Tesco caught a bloke weighing steaks and cheese as carrots – £90ish of stock and he tried to pay about £4 He was very upset when the guards stopped him and tried to claim it was a mistake (bollox was it lmao) and this Muppet had driven in to the car park in an Audi TT so I doubt he was on minimum wage and trying to scrape by
He was seen by a member of staff, they alerted me (I was the Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this security & shrink manager) and I checked the till log and had him stopped. I had his transactions appearing live on my monitor and the CCTV of him as he did it. It’s a stupid thing to risk a criminal record over but I’ve no sympathy for opportunitistic thieves. I’ve let people go for stealing food, nappies etc as long as I had the stock I was happy but this is not the same lol Edit: this was a while again now, but we had simple codes to alert staff, if someone shouted ‘hallmark don’t forget I’m owed for 3 hours’ I would go and pull up till 3 live, and keep an eye. There’s a lot of people who work there who are more alert than you would expect

Get this Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt

When I worked for Wilko, I was the Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this only male in the building. It seems that qualified me to deal with shoplifters or at least follow them around. So I did. Only once did someone say, ‘You following me?’ I was honest, said I was, explained why, was pleasant, he wasn’t and ran out, empty handed. Were you ever trained on SCOPE or the law on stops? Wilko could have put you in a really bad situation if you accidentally stopped the wrong person Once, I was on holiday and went back in the following week. Wilko kept their pans at that store near the front door, and the alarm sensors didn’t work. Visual deterrent only. The week I was off, a guy walked right in, put ALL the copper fancy pans, etc, into a trolley, and just walked out.
Oh, and my supervisor was sacked for stealing 60k in lottery tickets and stock, then the Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this manager was sacked for the same offence. There was me declining tips when I helped a customer to their car, or putting any cash I found on the floor, into the safe below the main till. Wilko put you at risk of assault, risk of arrest in extreme cases all to avoid paying TSS or some other ‘security’ contractor a few quid. I know it’s hard to do (especially when money is tight) but the phrase “I am not trained for that” needs to be the first thing said when someone tells you do work like security. A mistake made in honest good intentions can seriously backfire and they will drop you before they admit they are at all at fault. Oh, I was the dog’s body for a while. I was supervising other till staff whilst I was in their pay grade. Training new till staff. Cashing up every night. Doing all the tanoy announcements, bringing stock in late. Taking stuff to customers’ cars. Ringing customers when orders came in. Sorting orders.
On the Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this plus side, I did learn a lot. Oh and they turned me down for a supervisor role, an extra couple quid an hour. Why would they pay me more when I was already doing it? It’s the same in our local Morrisons, the all female staff have to put up with a lot from teenagers after dark. They do try to keep some sense of order and to stop mischief, but they really shouldn’t have to. Join a union, get them to see the risks and take the fight to the bosses because you are not paid to be at risk At Waitrose we’re not allowed to actually try and stop anyone, only the managers can. Which is unfortunate as most of our security guards aren’t worth much. The charity shop I worked for had a donation trolley in Morrisons. One day, it got nicked, and the guy who did it looked like me! Luckily I was working in the shop at the time so I was discounted. However, when we spoke to the manager, he said he was more concerned about how they were losing 2k a weeks worth of alcohol. This was very widely known, but our local police had the areas largest heroin dealer selling from a car wash literally directly visible from the station for years so I never expected much in the way of dealing with it. The problem is that the added theft was baked into the original cost benefit of introducing these things years ago. Now that management teams have changed, the added theft is their problem to deal with. Which I consider a self-inflicted wound, because if they were willing to pay cashiers anymore, we wouldn’t have this problem would we?
Companies have to grow – that’s the Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this world we live in, they cannot expand their market indefinitely so cost cutting with new tech is inevitable. Increasing profit by reducing cost can be as useful as increasing it by opening new revenue sources. At the end of the day, if the business grew by 2% last year, growing by 1.95% this year is a failure in the eyes of the market. Would you say farm hands should still be employed to harvest over using a combine? Even if it means bread and pasta cost £20 a pack? Yeah fine, I’m not saying don’t use it, I’m just saying expecting additional shrinkage is part of the equation. Yr1 of self serve, we estimated at my store around 5% of our theft was through the self service, by the time I left the business we were estimating 10-12% and that was almost a decade ago. As the usage grows, so will the theft. If you are stealing, ‘mis-scanning’ or otherwise doing something wrong, they are great to use, in and out quick and much faster throughout than any manned checkout. It was brought up again on one of the Sandi series. Gyles Brandreth said his mother’s eyes in particular would probably keep anyone in line. We are saving them thousands of pounds a year in salaries for doing all this hard, taxing scanning work ourselves…
Which is precisely why self scan is more profitable, even accounting for the Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this occasionally shoplifted item. That said, theft is theft and they’re reminding you that they know the difference between what is scanned and what leaves the shelves. If somebody shoplifts too much, they’ll be able to identify that person. Maybe you’re unlucky, but all the shops I use that offer self-scanning, also offer full-service checkout and you take your pick. I mix and match, but usually try to exchange pleasantries with both checkout operators and with self-scan supervisors. Self-scan doesn’t seem to be any work or hardship to me. I might even pay a small premium for it, as I can take my time and pack my bags as I go, rather than having a super-efficient checkout lady scan the lot in seconds, leaving the next customer glaring at me while I try to sort it out.
I’m glad if they do save a few bob by offering self-service as it lowers prices for us. I thought they actually did it because customers liked it (the Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this honest ones I mean!) I’m sorry to learn it’s really there to help thieves. In Tesco I seem to get pinged if I’ve been umming and ahhing a lot or trying to find something, and so spent a longer length of time in there than it expects from the amount of stuff I scanned. At least in Asda they just scan a couple of bits. Tesco? Nah let’s redo your ENTIRE shop. (Edit: might not be, see the discussion that followed) Booths (the Northern Waitrose) have removed them completely to give the jobs back to the people (and then not hired the people so we’re stuck with long queues again)
My Tesco only scans your entire shop if they find something that didn’t scan in their test items, I use scan and shop every time. Maybe it varies by store and theft rates? I seem to only get pinged when the Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this supermarket is really busy though. I think the algorithm has it in for the self checkout staff “ooh rushed off your feet are you? It’d be a shame if I decided everyone needed their self scans checked” Maybe it varies or maybe it’s down to how much you get – I’m not usually the one with a full trolley of stuff but rather a bag or two’s worth. Maybe it’s “all items if you have 20 or less” or something like that. Nope. Tesco is a small sample for everyone except you apparently. The sample size is based on size and value of your shop and a personal risk profile. If there’s a discrepancy in the sample, it’s 100% rescan.
They don’t sample check every shop either, that’s also risk based. They select new users more often – to make sure they know checks are done as it puts people off trying to steal generally. Anyone who’s had previous errors gets hammered for a period afterwards. Then they have other ‘risky’ things people do so common to get checked if you decide to put something back after it was scanned. It’s all personal to you, they know usual route and pace through the Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this store and also are suspicious if you have huge time gaps between scans – it assumes you’ve been still picking things up going round and not scanning. So, the scan as you shop is supposed to do your first few uses of it. After that, it’s random or if the user repeatedly didn’t scan items there was a way for colleagues to do a forced check. It’s not perfect though. I used to work for Tesco on checkouts and some customers would get checks every time, despite using it all the time and always scanning.
They’re not as random as you think. Shops can force a rescan to happen if they think someone might be trying to steal something. If you get checked all the Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this time then maybe you’re the problem. I got stopped every time in Sainsbury’s after my sixth shop turned around and took it to customer services and asked for a refund easily spent nearly £150 each time this is on the scan and shop.I now just do online shopping avoid Sainsbury’s and just walk 5 min to my local home bargains if I need extra.I don’t think I look dodgy just found the whole process embarrassing I always scanned my shopping correctly. Well at least you can avoid trying to do a big shop in a busy supermarket, gives you more time at home doing other things. You’d think if they didn’t trust their customers. They would have say a member of staff, you’d have to pass and pay otherwise you wouldn’t be able to leave the store. They would scan your items for your as well. That sounds like a good idea….
I work at waitrose. It’s if you use the Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this app to scan and go. Once you get to the self scan machines once your done and place everything in bagging area if it doesn’t weigh right we are able to see on tablet what you’ve scanned. We give you a few chances to do this and if you keep not scanning stuff your account gets locked. At my Waitrose, my shopping never goes near a scale. I scan it and pack it in bags in the trolley, then push the trolley through the checkout area and pay for it. There’s no way they can know whether the weight is correct. Those cameras on the self scan tills are not recording, they are just deterants. I’ve heard it that even if staff see someone take something, the managers won’t do anything unless they see it themselves. That’s also why there are staff members on the SCO tills – they are a physical presence. I’ve literally gone over and scanned things for people before because I’ve seen that they’ve not done it themselves.
i saw a lady in tesco with the Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this BIGGEST shopping trolley as full as possible (think mega christmas shop) she was sauntering thru the self scan checkout. …….. absolute jackpot levels of thievery My local Sainsbury’s (big store) has a stupid rule where you MUST scan a receipt to get through the barrier at self-service. So not only are you now scanning all your own products (which I like), but now you have to get the receipt and scan it. It proves nothing. It proves you’ve paid for something. Just to get through a barrier in one part of the store, when there are 20 tills which have space to walk out. Treating customers as criminals is a bit of a stretch, it’s just a warning sign. If people didn’t shoplift so much I don’t think they’d bother.
And I don’t think more staff would help much, even if they got rid of self checkout altogether shoplifters would still find a way. It’s basically decriminalised. It is a bit of a stretch for this sign specifically, that is fair. But it’s just one more thing on a list things supermarkets are doing. From having screens with cctv footage pointed at you, making you scan receipts to exit the Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this store, having staff randomly check people’s shopping bags and receipts. All while replacing more of the staffed checkouts with self-service ones, and decreasing the number of staff on the checkouts and the shop floor. And yeah I understand the challenges that supermarkets face with shoplifting, but it seems to me that cutting staffing levels to the bare minimum is part of the problem. Take what you can. The cunts at the top have been profiteering since the pandemic. Take what you can!!! Every man women and child for themselves.
The trick is to act normal and not look around, you can instantly spot someone cautions, I always try and put through something small, the Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this classic is holding a bag with the item while paying the rest. There’s never actually a plan and I always go in intending to pay for all items, it’s literally as I’m scanning I’ll decide there and then if I should or not. Standard crook’s mistaken excuse – robbing shops is victimless and they can afford it. Trouble is, a large part of the retail price is the markup to cover costs – staff, premises & infrastructure, transport & storage, management & accounting, advertising and wastage. Push up wastage to the sort of levels we see now, and theft has millions of victims paying higher prices. If you were the only thief, maybe it would be an insignificant drop in the ocean for very large stores, but you’re not. As one can see from the comments here, it is becoming a way of life for very many people – and not the deserving poor.
One thing I have found, is that if you do a (legitimate) self scan and leave the Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this store just with your purchased stuff piled up instead of using a bag, you don’t half get some dirty looks from staff and some customers. Probably thinking you’ve forgotten a bag and too cheap to buy a bag or something. This is pretty normal to see in a supermarket these days anyway. I’ve been stealing from Waitrose for the last 5 years, covid was the best, you could literally walk out with a full trolley. They are useless cunts and their stock management is fucking shocking. I’ve been pulled up a few times but they don’t do anything because they can’t risk appearing rude to customers. “Do you have two lots of Stella” “no, sorry” …. Actually, yes, but I’m only paying for one, so fuck off :). They just employ a bunch of dumb ass kids who wear fucking black air forces with their ill fitting uniforms, don’t have a fucking clue where anything is and continuously gossip about uni and typical teenage bullshit, etc, while stacking shelves at the pace of a person with dementia. Shit show.
I remember we were using the Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this Waitrose self scanners (the tool you carry around in your trolley) and the tool itself cocked up, not registering a tin of sweetcorn. Once we got to the checkout, they had one of those random checks and not only do they take ages, they messed up our neatly packed items Anyway, the sweetcorn was flagged up and they had to rescan everything. Felt like a right criminal, all for a mistake made by the tool. Can’t use the self scanner tool on that account again. This post is so weird to me, are we really questioning why there is CCTV in a supermarket? All this sign is saying is that they have CCTV, but in an obscure, roundabout way to try and match the class of shopper that shops there. No shop or business works on “trust” which is why they all have door scanners and security guards.

Get this Minion the good news is I’ve made it to my golden years the bad news is there ain’t no gold shirt

1. Length is measured from the highest point on the collar down to the bottom hem. 2. Width is measured across the body of the shirt under the armpits, one way. 3. Sleeves are measured from center back to hem.